i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
