no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
