Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
