Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
