I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
