He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
