he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
