Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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