It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
