Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
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