At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
