Whod you bang
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
