My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
