Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
