Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
