He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize