I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
