it hurts more in the daytime
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
