I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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