i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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