ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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