He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Congratulations! We have a period
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