What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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