that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Operation Purity has been aborted
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Dicks are not precious.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize