Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
