dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
