the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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