and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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