I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
