so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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