eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
