Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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