I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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