Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
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Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
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I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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