I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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