Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
