Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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