You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
