look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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