Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
