I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
