dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
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