OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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