textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize