So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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