Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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