Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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