i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
