And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
