The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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