There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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