im about as happy as oj after his trial
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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