whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
