we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
