She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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