Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize