Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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