first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Two words: nipple clamps
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