Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
