mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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