She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
