Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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