yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
